Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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