Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
