Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
