I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
