So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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