I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
