that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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