I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
