I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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