it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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