Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
