and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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