listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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