Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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