Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
