Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
