Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sober January is a disaster.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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