There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just gargled with NyQuil
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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