Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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