My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
