I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
not ubering you a puppy
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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