okay pat passed out under dana's car
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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