she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize