I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize