I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
