12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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