You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize