thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
