Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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