Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
