oh god the rape fog is back!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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