So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
