? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize