Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
whose ass print is on the piano?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
