Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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