Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
