i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize