i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
