yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We left the knife in your bed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
