Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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