Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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