i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
