i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
