no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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