can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
