I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Randomize
