Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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