I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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