So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
