just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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