I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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