she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
