did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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