How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
