what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He passed out mid-signature
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
