She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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