So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
