I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize