Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
