rhymes with "ouble enetration"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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