why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
