He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
