chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
