He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
