she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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