Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
