Umm I'm too high to move.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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