My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
