But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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