? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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