This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
